Sunday, October 4, 2009

Things I miss

Living on my own is really different. I was really hoping to get into a dorm so it wouldn't be so weird starting off but as we all know that wasn't exactly what happened. I really miss those homecooked meals my mom would make. Everynight I get a frozen dinner and throw it in the microwave because I'm simply too busy to cook for myself after my classes. I miss having mom do my laundry. Everyday I go to the bathroom and look at the sorry excuse of a laundry room and notice my basket piling over only knowing I have to wash it all. I miss having a brother to pick on. When I come home I have a fish swimming away in his little room. I can't really pick on him and he can't really pick on me either. I miss taking his friends to wal-mart so we can play hide and seek. oh yeah and target practice in the bedroom. I miss having someone to take care of me when I'm sick. I was sick 4 days in a row and it sucked. Mommy wasn't here to baby me and my brother wasn't there to try to make me better. I miss having my brother and his friends trying to bug me by going in my room. Yes I miss that. When I would be in the living room or the computer room the boys would all jump in my room and lay in my bed for some unexplained reason. I had no privacy but it didn't really bother me that much. When my brother would sit in his room and play his xbox I would lay on his bed just to poke fun and make him "die" just to annoy him. I used to talk to lizzay, the lizard I renamed because I hated the name he picked out. Then there was the dustmiester or what my dad refers to as dumbass. He's the family dog and truly is a dumbass that LOVES kleenex. One time my mom lit a bunch of candles in the house and there was one on the end table in front of the tissue box and my brother went to get one out for the dog because dumbass was wanting one. Well it brushed over the candle and caught on fire and he dropped the fireball of a kleenex and the dumbass ate it while it had flames still. I miss the cats. They got annoying around feeding time but I miss having something to cuddle up to. Isabelle would sleep with me everynight and faithfully followed me throughout the house. It was great to have her sleeping with me during naps. Kittie-kitn only laid with me when I was in a mood or had a migraine. Then dad and his sarcasim. I miss that a lot. We would always goof off while going to the store and embarass mom to death and it was great. I miss going out to eat and goofing off at the restaurant. Bubba would always fling things using his hand as a catapult often going into the booth behind us. We would always get into trouble but it was great.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

piano keys

So I am taking a piano course. I love it and it is most definately my favorite class I have this semester. This morning I went into class early because I needed to grab a practice room since I was out of town last weekend and have not had any practice. I walked in Miss Joy's office and got the keys to unlock the classroom to let myself and two other students in and this one student, Beth, started to play this song that she wrote with her mother. It was so beautiful I can not come up with any words to describe the song. I watched her fingers dance up and down the piano keys so quickly and gently like she has done this her whole life. This morning I woke up with a pulsing migraine and was not feeling well at all. When she played the song it was like I wasn't in pain from the migraine it was pure beauty. Miss Joy and I made her play it a few more times and all I could do was sit and stare with the biggest smile on my face. It's kind of funny how the smallest thing could ruin such a beautiful moment. One of the other students that walked into the room could not plug in his headset and get started on his lesson. Turns out half of the headsets were out and we could not get them to work. While working on Beth's head set I discovered how to unplug the pedals (we use electric pianos in the class rooms and uprights in the practice room) but after lots of where the crap and how the crap I finally got it plugged in. As far as I know when I walked out of class five pianos still had no headsets.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

life goes by

While I was sitting here talking to my best friend about things we did when we were little it was a little hard. My brother is growing up so quickly with his teenage attitude and lately hasn't been picking up after himself like a typical teenager does. It's kinda crazy how one minute everything is one way and in a blink of an eye you're starting your own life sometimes with the same friends sometimes with new ones. I have been blessed with being able to keep my two best friends for the majority of my life. Joannie is like a sister I never had and her family pretty much took me in. With her brother, Bud, dead it changes everything. I don't take life granted anymore and I try to live it to the fullest. I do admit there are times when I feel like doing something completely wild and crazy but it's something to do. I might be taking a trip to vegas with Joannie. While I'm there I have no intentions on being well behaved. Doing something crazy might not be a bad ideal although I would have my other best friend, Kaulen, trying to talk me out of it. Still, it's something to do. I look at what I've done and I see for the most part I haven't done anything too off the wall. I don't like to party so I don't. I don't believe in doing drugs so I won't. I still need to do something that's crazy. I'm thinking maybe going parasailing and bungee jumping off a cliff. Maybe even cliff diving I can get past the whole heights and under water thing in order to do something completely crazy. Hmmmm I'll go have a midlife crisis at the age of 20 for awhile and will come back with a plan.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

moving out

I got accepted to ASU and I'm very excited and nervous about it. It's not the whole starting the new school in a new place that I am worried about it's more of the I'm on my own thing that is getting to me. I pretty much mastered the art of going to new schools in new places and I have the Navy to thank for teaching me. The day was kind of on the crazy side while I was driving up to Jonesboro in San Diego my best friend was putting her brother in the grave and it was a little upsetting because I couldn't be there for her. I also had to register for classes, get an ID, and get an apartment.
The original plan for me to move up there was for me to get a dorm and I would stay there during the school year and do summer school so I could still live there then only come back during winter break. We went to put a deposit for the dorm and the lady said you are now #220 on the waiting list because I was a sophomore and freshmen have priority over dorms because of campus policy is that freshmen must live in dorms their first year. I looked at my mom and she looked at me with a confused look. The lady was nice enough to give us a list of apartments that were near the campus that had low rates which was pretty cool that they had that. My mom and I talked and I knew she was starting to get worried and I calmed her down and said it would be ok it will all work out or I would not have been accepted God will take care of it.
We then go to get my ID and that was a trip and a half. In order to get my student ID I had to be registered for classes. I told my mom to stay up here and sit down for awhile because I knew she had a lot on her mind and didn't think it would take too long. So I went to log into the computer downstairs to register and it wouldn't let me so I had to run back up the stairs and get a number run back down stairs and call the number so I could reset everything so I could get registered. I never in my college life spent more than 30 minutes trying to find classes. I would like to give a big thanks you to UALR for not getting my transcript in back in January! I could barely get any classes. I kept to my paper and just started to grab any classes possible and barely got 12 hours. Well, while doing this I somehow ended up with a piano class when I tried to drop it, the class wouldn't drop. I kept it thinking ok just one hour and it's something I enjoy so no big deal. I got my classes and happy I got that taken care of I went back to the ID office and met up with my mom. During the grusome class registration the receptionist talked my mom into getting an apartment and recommended some to her.
Now for the apartment hunting. We went to one apartment area and there was nobody there. The sign said the office closes at 6pm and it was 5pm I turned to my mom and said NO! We went to another apartment and the couple next to us have been waiting for an hour and nobody was there. We called the number and nobody answered it so I told my mom I didn't feel comfortable with not being able to get ahold of the apartment managers in case something was to happen. I sweet talked my mom into going to the only apartment we were able to get ahold of and as soon as we walked into the door there were a few residents there and they were super friendly and all of the employees were in the office and were really friendly. They showed us the model apartment and it was really cute. Small but cute and perfect. I filled out the application and they called within two days and told us they had an apartment they could put on hold for us until I moved there in August. So now I'm moving completely out on my own and I'm a little nervous and a little excited about it.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Adventures in Sheridan

So I my Aunt Renea and Uncle Johnny are trying to remodel their floors because their was a hole waiting to happen with no more floor in the dinning room. I've been taking Emily while this has been going on. The first stop was to the park. The park lasted literally 30 seconds and she decided that it was too hot for her. I started to head back home and figured there is nothing for us to do because everything is piled into rooms and hard to get to so I took her to the Grant County Museum. It was a lot of fun and she had a blast and to be honest it was like I was a kid again. They had a few exhibits of old war vehicles and WWI WWII gear and of course, a lot of Navy stuff (you know it Navy kicks ass anyday) so that was awesome. While her favorite part was the doll stuff from like way back in the day to now (it was cute but war vehicles kick ass anyday but she's 3 1/2 and a girly girl).
Today I got to take Emily to the pool with my Heather, and cousins Max, Sally, and Joey (my Heather hates it when I call her Aunt because I'm 20 and she feels old something about she graduated when I was born lol). Emily had a lot of fun swimming with them and can't wait to try to jump off the diving board and try to swim without floaties. I hope she can because I think it's important for everyone to know how to swim especially kids because too many little ones die because they didn't know how to swim and somehow ended up in the water.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

summer fun

This summer has so far been an interesting one. Last year I didn't get to do anything but this year will be different. Last week I think I turned into a fish. I couldn't get my right hand wet because of a procedure but that didn't keep me away from going to the river and the lakes all week. This week I am going to Kansas and Missouri to visit with family and I'm super excited about it. Normally it's fun going to the parties and I just talked my dad into going to Precious Moments Chapel so now I'm really excited about going! Then I have another week then I'm going to Iowa to see some friends I grew up with. Lets just say this summer will hold a lot of adventures and I can't wait to start them. It does suck that my brother's best friend is moving and he became an adopted little brother to me but it's for the best and his parents will get back together. Well that's all I can really type hopefully my hand will heal quickly so I can write a proper blog and it will make editing pictures a little bit easier. later

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Graduations

It's really weird everytime may roll arounds I used to think wow I can't wait to graduate High School. Then I graduated and now I think oh my god I'm so old I've been out of school (now for 2 years) So now I think to myself When will 2015 roll around so I can stick a fork in it and be broke for the rest of my life? I like school a lot and I know that I have 67 hours until I graduate with an associates and then a never-ending time until I get my master's in Sociology. As much as I am looking forward to this I'm also dreading it.
My cousins are all growing up so much. My cousin Blake graduates today so I'm pretty excited. I will feel pretty old while he walks across the stage but it's all fun and games because he's graduating a year early. Next year is Crystal then myself then a few years later my brother. WOW I can't believe it. Time flies by way too fast next thing you know it you're on the front porch swing yelling at the pesky neighberhood kids to get the hell off the lawn while feeding birds.

Friday, May 15, 2009

not caring about grammar but it's a blog entry

So the economy is going down and it sucks. I noticed today that the dealerships have their flags at half mass and it wasn't memorial day weekend and then I discovered that it was only the dealerships and found out it was for the dealerships and people losing their jobs. That sucks. I got my review and got an 8 cent raise just like everybody else did as I talked to the other team members. If you got a promotion it was 30 cents. Some people got mad and walked out and some people like myself sucked it up and was thankful for a job and a little bit of a raise and went back to work.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Finals

At last my finals have kicked off a week earlier than originally planned but that is totally ok with me! Today I just got done with my Social Psychology test and it was a lot easier than expected to be. I guess the last minute study session that wasn't carefully planned worked. hmmm. My Sociology to Mental Health is tomorrow night and I get to do my first diagnosis and not get in trouble for it because it's for class reasons. I'm super excited about it and just ready for it to end. My weakness, Math, is going to start on May 5th :( I'm really scared about it because I've had friends that have taken the same class four times and I really don't want to do this again. Just take this then intermediate then free at last! I need to finish err start my Applied to Psychology paper that will be five pages long. No bulling this paper because he expects it to be perfect and grades hard on them too.... crap. Intro to Criminal Justice won't be hard at all I know that like the back of my hand. lol. Well, gotta start dinner because my dad won't start his part before I think about starting.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

This week in class....

So Monday was really cool not only is it the day of one of my favorite classes it was also the day I got to see a Narcotics dog. It was sooo awesome because I love animals and German Shepards are really awesome because you can train them to do anything and everything and they remember it. Unlike my dog a Golden Retriever you can't do anything with it because it only wants to take your food or hunt. Pretty boring when you haven't taken Hunter's Ed and when your really hungry and trying to eat. We were originally going to get out at 7pm but we thought it was interesting and wouldn't let them leave until 8pm. Then Wednesday rolled around and it was the day of my boring class that never gets out when I want it to (It starts at 6pm and I want to leave at 6 and 30 seconds) but I was actually entertained. I didn't go the week before because I had Emily so I didn't participate but she let me make up for it by bringing the evaluation forms to the Psych office which was fine. Going to Stabler Hall was not going to kill me. I had to have someone go with me and after telling her I wasn't going to call for an escort she made the only guy in class go up there with me. I still don't know why but whatever. We talked the whole way and I guess he just doesn't know how to socialize but he really wasn't weird after all. He just doesn't like to talk in front of people and thats why he's usually a nervous wreck whenever he talks out loud in class. Unlike me, I'm in the back cracking jokes left and right counting down the pages until we leave annoying my friend Rebecca while doing so. Today was pretty interesting because the teacher I've had for the last three semesters finally came out of why she asks this question to her Intro to Soc. students and she's now going through a divorce. I'm still afraid to answer the question because that means I'm ready and I have thought of the question the first time she asked me it and I still think of it from time to time and still can't answer it. She told me tonight that when I'm ready I'll answer the question but if I can't answer the question honestly then don't do it. So I'm having fun and not thinking of the question. I did ask a couple of people and neither one of them could answer the question. Well, off to go through my finals. Next week I have to analyze a diagnosis because I've already diagnosed a person with PTSD and Sex addiction. Wow I love Sociology of Mental Health!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Waiting Game

The waiting game. We all play it even if it's just standing in a never-ending line at the grocery store. Sometimes it's for bigger things like being in labor forever and a half for it all to be over with and you forget the pain. Then there is graduation. I remembered for my high school graduation I sat there for what feels like forever just waiting to get the diploma and leave. No longer in high school. But those are for more joyous times in your life. Now there is the death waiting game. You just sit at the hospital pacing back and forth calling the insurance company, the funeral home, the family and friends. You try so hard to keep yourself together to talk to these people but you can't hold up. You're scared that you don't know what's going to happen to them once they die because death is final. Nothing more comes of life except for getting burned or burried. It really sucks but it's part of life. It's the longest wait in your life because its the last moments that you will have with your loved one. I have enjoyed spending time with my cousins because I love being with my family and spoiling my little cousins whenever possible but really it sucks for the reasons of why we are spending time like this. Well off to play the PhD in Sociology waiting game....

Monday, April 13, 2009

Bathroom diary

So I went to use the bathroom at school which is no big deal because I've done it before. Well apparently it was a big deal today. So I was in class and the professor is going over important stuff and i didn't really want to go up 3 flights of stairs run across the walk and then go down the ramp just to use the bathroom. So I figured why not after class. Well I went to the student center because I was going to get some coffee because I was dosing off and use the bathroom. Well a classmate decided to talk to me which was no big deal but it took my whole 45 minute break between classes. So I finally got a chance to use the bathroom. No I don't mind the whole reason behind the automatic flushers but really? Does it really need to be every time you bend over and wipe? It is the most annoying thing. Also, what's up with the 1 1/2 by 3 foot stalls? who the hell can move around to wipe or get something out of their purse. Lord forbid you have a big ass purse like me or a backpack because then you really don't have room to manuver. Then before you sit down the toilet just starts to flush. Then you sit down it starts to flush. Then if you lean over because they put the toilet paper roll right next to the door and your having to reach around the purse, the other way for the personal product holder to get the toilet paper all while that damn toilet thinks your done using the facilities and its flushing non stop. So annoying. I think some crack head was in his basement going he look, look, im gonna come up with a way to piss people off while in the bathroom. Then we have the automatic sink. You walk up and barely try to get it on it comes on. When you are ready you are waving your hands like your at a concert and it won't work. Finally you get it to work to get your hands wet enough to put soap on and you have the oh so lovely automatic soap dispenser. You put your hand under it and it doesn't work but as soon as you pull out it gets on the counter top. Then you pull your hand in out in to get the soap and it barely gets any and you have to do it several times to get enough soap on your hand. Then you do the concert wave thing with the sink to get water. Oops I moved my hands to close to me when rinsing my hands off and still have soap on them. I then do the concert wave and 3 minutes late for class. Then I'm finally done with the washing hands thing and its time for the paper towel dispenser. This is easy but can get tidious. You wave your hand in front of the sensor and get a 3"x4" paper towel that will not dry your soaking hands. So you have to tear the paper off because it thinks it gave you enough already and it won't roll anymore out if it's there. So you have to wait till the red led light goes off to get another paper towel to finish drying off your hands until you give up and use your shirt. Then we have that automatic hand sanitizer dispensor same thing with the floor until you say fuck this im 8 minutes late for class gotta go. Bathrooms today are just not the same. What happened to turn your ass around and flush the toilet pump the soap your self turn the sink on and off yourself and push the handle down like a slot machine to get paper towels and where did the hand sanitizer come from? Dudes really?

Sunday, April 12, 2009

my family is falling apart

On Friday my Aunt Renea got a call and was told her dad wouldn't make it through the night. This weekend her youngest daughter, Emily, has been over more than any of my cousins. Don't get me wrong I LOVE being with my family I really do but, it's just not something that happens very often. My family for some reason or another just doesn't come up here. When we first moved here the whole point of us living in Arkansas was to get closer to our family because I was raised completely without them and my brother was only eight years. The only thing that has been happening is the family falling apart. When my Nana died three years ago we haven't had much to do with my dad's family for some reason or another. The only one I keep in touch with on a weekly basis is my Uncle Norman and he lives in Colorado. My Mom's side however is a little different. I kind of tolerate my Grandma Jackie but not by much. Then my Granny, she is my mom's step-mom and she's more of a grandmother than Jackie is. Like I said before, I love my family it is just falling apart slowly. I did however get closer to my cousins Carmen, Dustin, and Missy. They live in Sarepta and I can only go there a few times a year but I love them to death. Well, gotta go because I'm on my parent's computer and my dad is kicking me off.